Parenting Article

I read a parenting article online today about expectations and was stopped by this quote-

Your child will teach you how to be the parent they need — if you're willing to listen.

Sometimes I wish Sean weren't so shy because he misses out on a lot of fun activities that I know he would enjoy. Although he goes on playdates a few times a week and school a few times a week, he is still very reserved. I myself was shy growing up and I remember my mom pushing me to do things to escape my shyness. Although my mom had good intentions, I don't think any of that pressure helped. There is nothing wrong with being cautious or reserved; it is just a personality trait. There are many positive things that come along with having a cautious child- Sean thinks before he acts, he rarely falls, doesn't wander and loves to hang out with me. Sean is focused and can play with something until he masters it. He would make a trustworthy and loyal friend. I can imagine my husband being like this when he was younger and Matt is the best guy I know.
And so I go back to the snippet above. I expected to have a rambunctious, social boy and I have the opposite. Sean has taught me to be more patient and I enjoy how sweet and thoughtful he is when he picks a flower for me or sits next to me while the other kids are playing. And because of that, I am a better mother to him for not trying to change him one bit.

On Being a Parent

I have met many moms through Beaumont's parenting program. It is really nice to develop friendships with women who have babies the same age. We meet up all the time for play groups and classes. It's a whole culture that I didn't know existed.

Matt and I always comment on how our lives are so different with a baby. We are still new at this and remember how it used to be as newlyweds. We never worried how late we were out and we always slept in on the weekends. There weren't many chores besides cooking and laundry. Our house was always clean.

It's such a selfless job to be a parent. If my baby needs me, I could care less if I'm hungry or tired, knowing that my needs can wait. I drive more cautiously with my precious cargo in the backseat. I sympathize with parents when their babies cry in public places instead of getting annoyed.

Although we are home by 7pm, cannot sleep in and have endless piles of laundry, I would not trade my life for anything. I have everything I've wanted- a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby boy, and a home to snuggle with both of them.

I can't wait to...

-hear Sean laugh.

-see Matt and Sean play sports together.

-sleep through the night, even if it means getting 5-6 hours of sleep.

-stop breastfeeding. I know it's good for the baby but I would like to not have to do it every few hours which leads into-

-drink wine whenever I feel like it.

-take Sean somewhere, just the two of us. I started driving last weekend! But I can't lift his car seat for another month!

Things I want to teach my son

I was inspired by Jacqueline to create this list. I know that my son will eventually make his own decisions, but I do know from all the articles I have read that parents have the strongest impact on their kids' lives and I want to give him the best life possible. Here are some things I hope to teach my son:

To play an instrument: I believe learning to play an instrument has so many benefits. One of my masters papers was the effects of music on learning. Learning to play music improves math and reading scores. It also boosts confidence and social skills (if you're in a band or orchestra). Since Matt and I both grew up playing instruments, I hope that my son will also love and appreciate music as much as we do.

To respect women: The greatest men in my life - Matt, my dad and my brother are all very patient, calm and respectful. I highly believe that nice guys finish first. The aggressive, bad-boy image may seem appealing to some, but with it comes a host of questionable behavior. I expect my son to treat his future wife like a princess and treat all women with respect.

To respect Everyone: Going forward, I want my son to respect everyone. I think that each generation is more accepting and broad minded than the generation before. If that is the case, I have a lot of hope for my son's generation. We have come a long way in this country, even in the past 40 years. Although Matt and I may not agree with everyone on every issue, we respect different views and opinions. I also expect my son to have manners, which is a sign of respect.

To stand his ground: I hope my son has strong values and holds true to them. That is not to say that I hope he becomes a priest. I just want him to stand up for what he believes in, even if the person he is standing up to is me.

To value hard work and money: My parents instilled in me the idea that money only comes with hard work. At an early age, I knew that every dollar should be spent wisely, not frivolously. I want to give my son everything I had and more, but I also want him to know that hard work and saving are key to a financially happy life. Living above your means and buying more than you can afford is never a good idea.

To love learning: As a teacher, I have found that my best students aren't genetically smart, they make learning fun. I know that sounds very "after-school special" but it is true! The students that complain and roll their eyes forget to make the most of their time and end up hating class even more. If my son is going to be in school for most of his adolescent life, I hope he enjoys it.

To love life: Matt and I are always planning trips; this is our way of loving life to the fullest. We love to see new places and people and like to come out of our Midwestern bubble from time to time. Since we've been together, we have been to Mexico, Jamaica, Japan, Italy, and a bunch of states. Not to mention all of the countries and cities before we knew each other. I want to take my son on trips to open his eyes to the world out there.

I know this list is setting high expectations, but I don't expect my son to be perfect. I just want him to be a good and happy person. Parenthood terrifies me and excites me. I think all I can do is be a great role model and hope I teach him well.

Really?

I have noticed that everyone asks me the same questions over and over again. How are you feeling? When are you due? Is it a boy or girl? I don't mind these questions but it is funny how these are the prereq questions before we can start talking "normally". These don't compare with all the words that can piss off even the most patient expecting mom such as "Should you eat that?" or "You don't look pregnant from behind". I am usually a healthy eater, but there are times when I will want chocolate, ice cream or pop. I can't eat fruit and vegetables all the time! And I know I don't look pregnant from behind, my uterus is in front! I'm just not sure that's a compliment.



The Real reason why people smile at me!